I won the Ugly Christmas sweater contest!
But this year, something's not quite the same. I suppose it started a few months ago when work got really hectic. Even my husband, who I'm sure rolls his eyes at my holiday addiction, was telling me he couldn't wait for Christmas. When I asked him why, he said it's because he knows that's when I'm happiest. I went to Target after Halloween and they were in full Christmas mode, but I just wasn't feeling the cheer.
My happy place...
If you've been following my blog for a while, you probably know that my husband is still in school. And has been for the past 5 years getting his engineering degree. We've had our struggles and it hasn't been easy living off one income, but we've survived. He's had good success finding internships and he's had a nice income since June. But now that it's time for him to line up a *real* job for after his graduation in December, things seem bleak.
Maybe it's my naive assumption that finding a job out of college as an engineer would be easy. I can't tell you how many people have told me "Oh, an engineer? He'll always have a job." Where are those when we need them? I've seen him go through a few rejections so far and it definitely doesn't get easier.
One job he's in the interview process for is a rotational program. 6 months in Texas, then 6 months somewhere else in the U.S. (we live in CA). It's too short a time for me to try to transfer to the area and the pay isn't enough where I could quit my job to go with him. 6 months living apart seems like a long time, I'm not sure how I'd handle it. Who will kill the spiders in the house for me?! And of course there are other jobs we're we'd have to relocate entirely.
My home, sweet home... but for how long?
If he can't line up a job in the next month or so, he's probably looking at being unemployed for January. Not exactly what we were expecting.
So that's the weight I've been dragging around. The uncertainty of it all is really stressing me out and making me lethargic and mopey. Definitely not my usual self. If you made it this far, thank you for listening to my ramblings. In the mean time, I've resolved to let the stress go and just focus on the holidays and my upcoming Disneyland/Tinker Bell trip. With ~10 weeks to go, you'd think I'd be way more excited!
Have any of you dealt with major life changes that are out of your control? How do you not let it affect the rest of your life?
Kim, it's hard to not let it take over the rest of your life when it's such a big thing! I usually try to really focus in on the things I CAN control when in these times. I hope you can let go and just allow yourself to get excited about your favorite time of year. Everything will work out in the end and worrying about it won't change or help the situation, so why not enjoy the time of year that you love! My daughter is just like you, btw, she says that after Halloween, it's CHRISTMASTIME! LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks, Karen. I'm starting to feel a lot less stressed and I'm getting more excited for Christmas. Your daughter has the right idea! :)
DeleteOh wow, that has got to be a scary feeling having to worry about all of those things. I will be praying for you both that something happens soon! As for the wonderful, beautiful, FUN holiday season - don't lose that!! It'll be what keeps your unhappy thoughts at bay!
ReplyDeleteIt's an odd feeling; thank you for keeping us in your thoughts. The weather here has really begun to feel more like fall, so it's getting me into the holiday spirit. :)
DeleteI completely understand. When I left my corporate job to get my teaching credential, it was because they were closing my office location and I didn't want to relocate. Turned out, six months later they also laid off everyone in the main office where I'd have had to go. Even so, given the economy, teaching positions have been impossible to find. I've done four years of subbing when I thought maybe one or two. If I can't find a full time contract next year, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm definitely facing the prospect of having to move to an area where there are more jobs, and I really don't want to do that. If my mother wasn't so supportive, I don't know where I'd be now. I get your stress and worry. It makes me very depressed also. Sometimes, just a low key Christmas can be fine. Maybe still celebrate Christmas, but think of ways to do it more economically. Stay out of the stores with the temptation to buy, buy, buy. Use what you have from previous years. This economy can't be crap forever. I'm hoping 2014 is better for all of us!
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed that 2014 is better for everyone! I definitely feel you with the stress- when it takes over, it really takes over! I hope you're able to find a full time contract next year and in your area, too. Here's to a smooth holiday season and good news! :)
DeleteOh Kim, I know what you mean and how you feel. It's tough to compartmentalize your life and deal with stresses like this when the main stressor is the uncertainty of your daily life. The best thing you can do for yourself and your husband is to keep yourself going. He needs encouragement and stability right now when everything seems very fragile.
ReplyDeleteSo my suggestion is to keep your training going, try to get into the great holiday spirit that you embody every year and make plans like normal. These types of normal occurrances helps him to feel more secure with the changing future you both will be embarking on. Then when you have an actual offer where you may be asked to relocate, then you can let the stress of change get to you, but don't let it get you down before you even know if it will be a reality. I know, easier said than done. But doing these small things will benefit you and your hubby in the long run!
Your words of encouragement mean so much, thank you! I am definitely taking it day by day and supporting my hubby the best I can. I know he's struggling and the best thing I can do is be there for him.
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